I have been wanting to write this blog post for so long, but no words have arranged themselves and it’s sat lingering as a titled file with no content for months. MONTHS. Now I’ve decided to simply sit down and force the words out and be done with it.
In January, I decided that I wouldn’t buy any clothes that I didn’t need this year, and I decided to call it my Year of Contentment. The overarching idea was that I have all the clothes I need, and I really didn’t need to shop. A noble sentiment, but in practice the reality was a little different.
Literally a month after I published that idea on my blog, I decided to do some clothes shopping to address the fact that I was feeling scruffy and fed up. I don’t regret what I purchased (I chose well!), but there were quite a few items and now my wardrobe is packed tight again. I didn’t want to remove anything, so a few months later it’s still super-cluttered. Every time I have to remove or put away something I get annoyed that there is no room in the wardrobe, but I’m still unwilling to part with anything.
I have mixed feelings about all of this, and the original reason for this post was to give you a general update on what had happened. However, I have no take-aways from this situation. I’m annoyed I didn’t stick with my plan and annoyed that my wardrobe has no room. On the other hand, I like the clothes I bought and I have been wearing them. I don’t remember how much I even spent now, although it was a few hundred pounds and I’m sure it would have been better off in my savings account, but wearing nice clothes is nice.
Part of the problem with my wardrobe is that I have put a little weight on. My weight has fluctuated a bit over the last seven years because of my illness and the drugs I take, but it tends to fluctuate from being a small size 12 to being a large size 12 (I’ve pretty much been the same clothes size since I was 17!). To date, I have neither gone big enough to go up a size or small enough to go down a size, so I’m often wearing clothes that are either slightly too tight or slightly too loose. This can be very annoying, though the feminist part of me wants to know why I have to conform to society’s definition of what a size 12 should be.
I’m one of those girls that doesn’t tend to worry about diets and foods, and I just eat whatever I like (as you know if you follow me on Twitter!). Having said that, I do feel I need to go on a proper diet now to go back to being an average size 12, so I am trying to do that (haha, we’ll see). I’m sure once I’ve lost a little bit of weight I will be happier with my wardrobe in general. I took a photo of myself in the poppy field last week, and I was annoyed at how round I looked, even after I’d cropped my arms out of the photo! So, I’m saving the photo here for posterity and to remind myself to make good food choices!
So, the general conclusion seems to be that sometimes I like being a fashion consumer and a food consumer. That and I am a little weak-willed when it comes to maintaining a stream-lined wardrobe, and I should probably try a bit harder.